Here's a question I heard on LinkedIn, and just had to answer:
If you are disappointed, what do you do? Do you give up fighting for being more comfortable or start fighting again for what you want? Even if you know that you might get hurt.
Yeah, that one's loaded. And it pains me to say this, but disappointment is part of the human condition. Law of Attraction adherents notwithstanding, I dare say most of us know this and do the best we can to prepare to deal with it. And I think our best chance of bouncing back from disappointment is knowing in advance that it can happen.
After that, here's what I do. Or what I TRY to do, when I have my wits enough about me to remember:
- Intrinsic value. I always make sure that if I'm going to have to fight for it, or even just strive, that it's something that is worth my effort. In that case, it always helps to be striving for something that benefits others besides myself only. The intrinsic value of the thing you fight for will give you strength.
- Second opinion. I always make sure I have someone who can look at my technique, and tell me if I'm going about something the wrong way, or simply GOING the wrong way, for that matter. Call that person a "mentor" if you want - I know I'm not so old I can't have a mentor when I need one. If I'm not doing the right thing, the right way, at the right time and for the right reasons, I wanna be first to know.
- Back-up plan. I always make sure I have something else, somewhere else, that I will also fight for - with someONE else. In case I'm gonna come out the loser in the end, and I need a change in direction.
- Self-effacement. Sometimes, my disappointment comes from my taking things too seriously. One friend even introduced me to the acronym DTTSSS - "don't take things so seriously, stupid!" That includes myself. Like Mila Kunis says to Jason Segal in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall": Oh my god, dude, get outta your head - it's really nice out here! I have to look at myself with the same exasperation sometimes.
- Lessons learned. That's the silver lining behind every disappointment: you learn something. Even if it's only "how to dodge that bullet next time." Find that lesson and take it with you.
I hope you break right past your next disappointment and bask in the light of day. :-)
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